Lady: Sir main lut g ….

Lady: Sir main lut gayi, barbaad ho gayi.

Inspector: Kyun,kya hua madam?

Lady: Ek handsome sa chor raat ko mere ghar aaya aur mere saare gehne chori kar ke le gaya.

Inspector: Kaise? Kahan rakhe the gehne?

Lady: Main pehen ke soee hue thee..??

Inspector: Phir chori kaise huee?? ??

Lady: Woh aadmi mere saare gehne utaarke le gaya.

Inspector: Kyaa! Phir tumne usko pakda kyun nahin, ya shor kyun machaya ?

Lady: Mujhe kya pata tha wo gehne churane ke liye uutar raha hai.???

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Don was looking for ….

Don was looking for a little action. He picked up a sweet young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room.

Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac. After six times, she was screaming for more.

After the *eighth* time, Don told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.

On the way out, he stopped in the men’s room. He stood in front of the urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn’t find his dick.

After a couple of minutes of ‘fishing around,’ he finally said, “Look, it’s ok. She’s not here!”

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Dating Ads for Senio ….

Dating Ads for Seniors found in a Florida Newspaper. You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north. These are actual ads seen in “The Villages”, a Florida newspaper.

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty. 80’s, slim, 5’4′ (used to be 5’6′), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the oce

continue ….

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Santa and Banta were ….

Santa and Banta were enjoying a few drinks down at the local bar, when Santa said to Banta, “If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?”

“Yeah, sure thing,” replied his friend, “fire away.”

“Well,” said Santa, “why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?”

“It’s probably because of her speech impediment,” replied Banta.

“What do you mean her speech impediment?” inquired Santa, “My wife doesn’t have a speech impediment!”

“Well,” replied Banta, “you must be the only guy who hasn’t noticed that she can’t say ‘NO’!”

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