Monthly Archives: June 2012

Kanjoos(Miser) lawyer

Kanjoos(Miser) lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India . Dear Sunita Darling, I can’t send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected my Company’s performance, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation. Your loving husband, Tuna His wife replied.. TINKU KE PAPPA,

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Full Bed Bath

The nursing student, on her first rotation in the ICU, had to give a patient a full bed bath. She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it.To make matters worse, the patient was a gentleman in his late sixties who had been admitted after a heart attack. As se nervously set her equipment up, she confessed to the patient that she had never given a full bed bath before.“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “how about if you wash as far down as possible, and as far up as possible, and then I’ll wash possible?”

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Words of Wisdom

Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.If you give her a sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.So, if you give her any aggravation, be ready to receive a ton of stuff in return.

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Chocolate-Chip Cookies

Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Maine, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit.Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.A short time later, I was stopped by another trooper.“What have I done?” I asked.“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”

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Safe cracker

The local bank near a large prison had a problem opening their safe one day. Seems that the mechanisms working the combination failed, so they called the prison to seek help. The prison had a convicted safe cracker in custody. They released him under guard and took him to the bank to see if he could open their safe. The convict worked on the lock for quite a while but finally he was able to open the safe. The bank president was delighted to see his safe opened without having to have it ruined in the process, he turned to the safe cracker and said, “Thanks for helping us out here, how much do we owe you?” The safe cracker replied, “Well the last time I did one of these jobs I got about $100,000!”

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