Category Archives: Jokes

Dating Ads for Senio ….

Dating Ads for Seniors found in a Florida Newspaper. You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north. These are actual ads seen in “The Villages”, a Florida newspaper.


FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty. 80’s, slim, 5’4′ (used to be 5’6′), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.


LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.


SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the oce

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Santa and Banta were ….

Santa and Banta were enjoying a few drinks down at the local bar, when Santa said to Banta, “If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?”

“Yeah, sure thing,” replied his friend, “fire away.”

“Well,” said Santa, “why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?”

“It’s probably because of her speech impediment,” replied Banta.

“What do you mean her speech impediment?” inquired Santa, “My wife doesn’t have a speech impediment!”

“Well,” replied Banta, “you must be the only guy who hasn’t noticed that she can’t say ‘NO’!”

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An Illinois man left ….

An Illinois man left the snow filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.

His wife was on a trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his motel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher`s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, she let out a piercing scream, and fell to the
floor i

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A woman goes to her ….

A woman goes to her boyfriends’ parents’ house for Easter dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family, and she is very nervous.


They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole.


The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.


Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman’s chair, and sa

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