Category Archives: Adult Jokes

Three men who were l ….

Three men who were lost in the jungle were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.

The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, “I brought ten apples.”

The king then explained the trial to him, “You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you`ll be eaten.”

The first apple went in… but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The second one arrived and showed the king ten b

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Don was looking for ….

Don was looking for a little action. He picked up a sweet young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room.


Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac. After six times, she was screaming for more.


After the *eighth* time, Don told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.


On the way out, he stopped in the men’s room. He stood in front of the urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn’t find his dick.


After a couple of minutes of ‘fishing around,’ he finally said, “Look, it’s ok. She’s not here!”

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A wife wanted an exp ….

A wife wanted an expensive fur coat from the executive husband to celebrate their Silver wedding anniversary.


The miser overbearing rich husband rejected the expensive but affordable demand, He said, “You grow the hair on your chest and I will give you fur coat to cover it.”


The wife was out of control with anger. She pulls up her skirt, drops and throws her panties and pushes her hairy pubic area forward.


She said, “There! I have the hair on my chest, now buy me that damn coat!”


“That’s not your chest, that is your pussy!” husband screamed back.


“Oh yes that is my chest all right” she yelled

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A man on a business ….

A man on a business trip to Las Vegas heard about how good the Las Vegas prostitutes were. So, on his first night there, he decided he would go out and try his luck.


He walked outside his hotel and looked up and down the street and saw an attractive girl standing on the corner.


He approached her and asked her if she is working tonight and sure enough she said, “Meet me in room 804 across the street.”


He was in luck. She was a knockout. They got to the room and he sat down anxiously on the edge of the bed.


She asked him what he wanted and he thought for a second, then said, “How much for a hand job?”



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One day, a painter f ….

One day, a painter found himself short of help and went to the unemployment office to hire someone for the day.

When he arrived, they didn’t have any painters available, but they did have a gynecologist there. He reluctantly took him along to help.

A couple of weeks later, the painter returned to the unemployment office needing temporary help again. This time there were two painters, but instead he asked for the gynecologist again.

The clerk asked, “Why do you want a gynecologist when we have two professional painters you can take right now?”

He said, “Two weeks ago when I hired the gynecologist, we arrived at the house and it was locked wi

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4 men in a prison ce ….

4 men in a prison cell, a rapist, murderer, psycho and finally a gay man.


Rapist says, “If there was a cat in here I’d fuck it till it dies!’


The murderer replies, “Once you were done I’d torture it further!”


The psycho pipes in, “Oh yeah?, once your were done I’d fuck it till I die!”


The gay man in the corner listening in, very softly says, “Meow”

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