Battalion Cocktails. ….

Battalion Cocktails…

An Army Battalion was having a cocktail party to welcome the new Brigade Commander.


A circular was sent out to all: “Cockfail at 7 PM sharp at the Officers Mess.”


The Commanding Officer saw the spelling mistake and asked the Adjutant to amend it.


The Adjutant did & it read:


“Refer to circular, read tail, instead of fail cock stands, as it is.”

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A family is at the d ….

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, ‘Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?


The father, surprised, answers, ‘Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs:

In her 20’s, a woman’s are like melons, round and firm.

In her 30’s to 40’s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.

After 50, they are like onions’.


‘Onions?’


‘Yes, you see them and they make you cry.’


This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, ‘Mum, how many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?’


The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, ‘Well dear, a man goes

continue ….

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Little Johnny is tak ….

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest?”

Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.
Johnny didn`t forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question.

His father, always quick with the answers, says, “Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she`ll float to heaven.”

Johnny thinks that`s neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnny`s dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically,

continue ….

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